My mother is lonely; what can you do when your mother's world keeps shrinking?

• Many children notice it slowly.
• Niet in één keer, maar stap voor stap.
• De telefoon gaat minder vaak.
• Visits are becoming rarer. Activities your mother always enjoyed so much are slowly disappearing.

And one day you hear yourself thinking: “My mother is lonely.”

Dat besef kan best zwaar voelen. Zeker wanneer je zelf verder weg woont en niet altijd kunt helpen zoals je eigenlijk zou willen.

On this page you will read:

• how loneliness often arises among seniors
• welke signalen veel kinderen herkennen
• what you can do if your mother is becoming increasingly lonely
• how a dedicated support worker from Gea Thuis can help make life a little lighter and more cheerful again

Loneliness among seniors often develops slowly

Loneliness in seniors usually does not arise suddenly. It is often a process that develops over years.

• Friends get older.
• Sommige mensen verhuizen naar een verzorgingshuis.
• Anderen overlijden.
• Activiteiten stoppen omdat iemand niet meer kan autorijden of minder mobiel wordt.
• Slowly but surely, the network is shrinking.

What was once a busy social life sometimes turns into:

• fewer visitors
• fewer phone calls
• fewer activities outside the home
• more hours alone at home

Voor veel senioren voelt dat als een wereld die steeds kleiner wordt.

Signalen dat je moeder zich eenzaam voelt

• Your mother calls more often than before.
• Conversations always revolve around the same topics.
• She regularly says that she is bored.
• Ze komt weinig meer buiten
• Her social activities are slowly ceasing
• She sometimes sounds gloomy or despondent.

Sometimes you notice it more subtly, too. For example, when your mother says:

It is so quiet here.

Of:

“Iedereen heeft het druk.”

Het lastige als je verder weg woont

Many children no longer live around the corner these days. Work, family, and distance sometimes make it difficult to visit more often. This can give rise to a feeling of powerlessness (after all, you want to be there for your mother). But you simply cannot always be there.

Dan ontstaan gedachten als:

• I should go more often.
• “Ik maak me zorgen dat ze zo alleen is.”
• What if something happens?

It is a recognizable situation for many people.

Het verhaal van Christel en haar moeder

Christel lives well over an hour's drive from her mother; for years, things actually went fine.

Her mother had an active social life; she regularly met up with friends and went to her bridge club every week.

Maar de afgelopen jaren veranderde dat langzaam, Eén van de dames van de bridgeclub werd opgenomen in het verpleeghuis, de groep was niet meer compleet en viel uit elkaar. Andere vriendinnen werden minder mobiel of verhuisden, langzaam verdwenen de vaste momenten in de week.

Christel noticed it especially in the phone conversations; her mother said more and more often that she was sitting at home alone, that little was happening. That the days sometimes felt long.

De wereld van haar moeder werd steeds kleiner. En omdat Christel op afstand woont, kon ze daar niet altijd iets aan doen.

A dedicated support person nearby

Through Gea Thuis, a solution was found that proved very pleasant for both of them. Her mother was assigned a dedicated Gea support worker: Francien.

Francien woont op nog geen acht minuten fietsen van haar moeder vandaan, dat maakte het contact meteen laagdrempelig.

Francien comes by three times a week; sometimes they have coffee together, sometimes they go for a walk. Other times they go grocery shopping together, to the pedicurist, or just chat quietly at the kitchen table.

For her mother, it means:

• company
• structure of the week
• someone who really has time
• a familiar face

But perhaps even more important: someone who is close by.

A huge relief for Christel

For Christel, this primarily brings peace.

• She knows that someone visits her mother regularly.
• Someone who knows her mother well.
• Someone who notices changes.
• Someone who pays genuine attention.

The contact with Francien is pleasant and personal.

For example, Christel occasionally receives a text message:

• a small update
• a photo of a walk
• or a message that everything is going well

And sometimes it is the other way around, then Christel sends a message:

“Zou je misschien even extra bij mam kunnen kijken? Ik vond haar net wat verward klinken aan de telefoon.”

Because Francien lives so close by, she can often cycle over. That gives Christel enormous reassurance.

What a dedicated support worker can mean

Voor veel ouderen is het belangrijk dat er één vertrouwd persoon is.

Not constantly changing faces, but someone who:

• knows the habits
• knows the stories
• the family knows
• and becomes truly involved

A dedicated support worker can help with:

• gezelschap en gesprekken
• walking or cycling together
• grocery shopping together
• kleine praktische dingen
• structure of the week
• a listening ear

But often, it is simply spending time together that makes the difference.

For the elderly and their children

Support through Gea Thuis helps not only the elderly. Children, too, often experience a great deal of peace of mind when they know that someone visits their parent regularly.

For many families, that means:

• less worries
• more overview
• better communication
• and the feeling that you are in this together

Contact with the family is therefore always important. Many Gea support workers maintain regular contact with children or informal caregivers.

Een mensgerichte aanpak

Gea Thuis originated from the care sector.

Niet als commerciële keten, maar vanuit de wens om ouderen op een menselijke manier te ondersteunen.

The support is:

• persoonlijk
• organized nearby
• with familiar faces
• and deliberately kept affordable

Because good support for the elderly must remain accessible.

Herken je dit?

Maybe you recognize parts of this story, maybe you are thinking to yourself:

My mother is lonely.

• You can see that her world is getting smaller.
• That social contacts disappear.
• That the days are sometimes long.
• En misschien woon je net iets te ver weg om er zo vaak te zijn als je zou willen.

In dat geval kan het veel betekenen als er iemand dichtbij is die regelmatig langskomt.

Meer weten?

Would you like to calmly discuss what is possible for your mother?

Or do you want to know if there is also a permanent support worker available near your mother?

Then feel free to contact Gea Thuis.

Together, we will look for a form of support that suits your mother and also brings peace of mind to you as a child or caregiver.

Lees ook: Gezelschapszorg voor senioren Eenzaamheid bij ouderen